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Top Ten Reasons You as a CISO Have Not Resigned in 2008

Jul 20, 20082 mins
CareersIT Leadership

Early this year we took a cut at th Top Ten Reasons You as a CISO Would Resign in 2008.

Let’s take a look at why you have stayed (other suggestions welcomed):

Top Ten Reasons You as a CISO Have Not Resigned in 2008

10.  And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told the CIO that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told the CFO too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married… But then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll, I’ll, I’ll set the building on fire…and I can’t do that if I quit.

 9. The new corporate perk for Cialis is too good to leave behind.

 8. You don’t have to pay back your quarterly MBO bonuses anymore.

 7. After years of corporate re-education, you have been assimilated, your biological and technological distinctiveness added to the corporate collective, all personal and professional integrity has been wiped from your personality – resistance was futile.

 6. Your company continues to pay for your annual CISSP test retake. 

 5.  VC funding for the organic dirt farm fell through.

 4. Since you have complete unfettered access to all financial systems, the restricted stock awards, 20% annual raises, and the fact that you have your whole family on payroll is too much to pass up.

 3. After 3 years, your suggestion for putting “Confidential” on the TPS Reports was accepted!

2. Your unwittingly playing host to the World Cyber Games US Final as national video-arcade top-dogs, obsessive joystick jockeys and aspiring pro-gamers from all over the country are descending en masse to your network.

1. The CBS Pilot ‘CISOs Gone Wild’ didn’t make the fall cut.