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A Day In The Life of Two IT Security Curmudgeons

Two IT security guys survive a routine day the way many of us do -- by observing their daily challenges in words one might find career-limiting. Here they speak frankly -- and anonymously -- in diary entries of 140 characters or less.

Editor's note: Let's face it -- sometimes the only way for an IT security practitioner to make it through a work day is to vent to someone about the ongoing folly of misconfigured networks, clueless vendors/contractors, pointy-headed bosses (they do exist beyond the Dilbert universe) and users who do stupid things.

Thanks to Twitter and one's ability to mask their identity with colorful user names, a lot of that venting now unfolds to the enjoyment of a wider group of people.

Two particularly cantankerous IT security curmudgeons have given us permission to capture a snapshot of their lives as told in daily Twitter rants. The editor has taken the liberty of setting up these so-called tweets in a day-long diary format. The goal is to show readers that many of their daily challenges are indeed shared by others, and that sometimes the best defense to one's sanity is a bit of venting and dark humor. [For a slightly different, perhaps more optimistic take on this, see Confessions of a Security Optimist.]

To protect the innocent, we'll call these guys Mick and Larry.

10 p.m. Sunday:

Mick: Tired, and some dimwit scheduled a Monday tomorrow.

6-8 a.m. Monday

The day begins with our heroes braving the traffic and long coffee shop lines.

Mick: Mornin' world. It's a cyber-tastic Monday morning.

Upon looking out the window.

Mick: Ah, schweet, another crappy morning. A cool, wet puppy nose stuck in the butt of the day.

Mick: I am feeling especially stupid this morning. Please sir, may I have more caffeine?

Later, at the local Starbucks.

Mick: Dawdling in line at Sbux should be punishable by death. I need coffee, you are in my way, die now. Oh, and fall so you don't block the line. I have largely cut back to two doses a day, a 6-shot latte a.m., a Dr. Pepper p.m. Yes, that is cutting back for me.

A few state lines away, Larry faces the day. He wakes up with a feeling of dread.

Larry: Shaking off the bad feeling. OK, attempting to do so.

Then collects himself.

Larry: OK let's try this again. Meds, check. Coffee, check. Headphones and sunglasses on. Look out day job, here I come.

On the train to work, a text message arrives in his BlackBerry inbox like a ray of sunshine. His spirits instantly improve.

Larry: Beautiful Monday moment! Two-hour afternoon meeting cancelled. If there was more room on this train I'd dance. Woohoo!

Meanwhile, Mick settles in at the office.

Mick: Just another day at the Packet Orphanage which is my cubicle.