How To Save Yourself From Your Kids Online

Security expert Richard B. Lawhorn writes that as parents, we must adapt to new technologies our children are using, including those found on the Internet

By Richard B. Lawhorn

October 23, 2008 — CSO —

Every so often during dinner engagements or casual conversation, the topic of kid safety and teen and pre-teen monitoring on the Internet comes up. I should not be surprised since I am in the information security industry and I am privy to many stories, both in the corporate world and home.

But once my chosen career path is conveyed to my audience, volleys of questions begin to fly in order to glean a quick fix or solution. I try to be a good representative of the security industry during these discussions, but the conversation normally ends with either a sigh of despair or complete surprise in the tactics available to our kids in subverting detection.

During one of the most recent conversations, I decided to take off my corporate information security hat and try to become a true D.A.D (Dumb as Dirt) on the topic of home-based solutions to protect our kids on the Internet. With my background and exposure to the elements, I have always felt I had an inside track to keep my house in check on the Internet. In this case, I decided to step back and begin to look at the landscape of products and services from a parent's viewpoint as a measure to meet two basic requirements: ease in implementation and effectiveness in prevention and alerting me to dangers. It was a true learning experience.

Before we dive into the discoveries I made, I wanted to level-set this experience with you with one observation I learned about myself. I began this challenge by wanting to place myself in a standard parental role. Yes, I am a parent but I rely on my ability to be somewhat self-sufficient in regards to security. I really attempted to strip away this crutch in order to learn what the market had to offer a non-technical parent. In doing so, I realized two important points that the security industry has missed in educating parents: the ability to think like your kid and understanding the characteristics of Internet dangers to detect.

The main thing I learned about myself was that it was easy to think of a hacker being the teenager in the basement, but I really had to struggle to pretend it was my teenager. I, as many other parents, have forgotten how to be a teenager and to think and operate like one. Let's face it, when we were teenagers, we may have attempted to bypass detection on things in our life that may have been against our parents' policy. We may have even rationalized why it was important to do so, due to peer pressure or just trying to be cool. Now that we are parents, we sometimes get tunnel vision in communicating our expectations vs. learning why they may not be working. It's the "do it because I said so" approach that I seem to rely upon on certain occasions. That is why I feel that it is important to place yourself in your kids' shoes when you are trying to offer them protection.

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