Debriefing

DHS Terror Alert Scale, Localized

If it's broke, fix it! Instead of scrapping DHS's color-coded alert system altogether, we humbly submit this remedy.

By Scott Berinato

July 01, 2005 — CSO — Table shows new threat level designation - and recommended actions - for each location.







Other stories by Scott Berinato

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Washington, D.C.
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 Green Blue Yellow Orange Red
Greenwich, Conn.
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 Hedgerow Moss Have dinner party Lakeview Reflections Maybe just invite the Cabots
 Morning Moon Lock outer gate at end of the cobble drive November Pumpkin Call broker about defense stocks Christmas Velvet Board yacht, steam to Halifax
Orlando, Fla.
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 Jiminy CricketTM Give a little whistle AladdinTM A whole new world The Lion KingTM Be prepared The IncrediblesTM Missile lock BambiTM Tragedy in the meadow
Boston, Mass.
.
.
.
 Lahhry Bhirrrd Pahty wicked hahd Tawm Brady Go home aftah happy owah Bawbby Oah Head to New Hampshuh, but don't take the Pike to 95, stay on 93 Doug Flutie Take the T ovah Billy O'Brien's; hide in old bawmb sheltah down cellah Schilling's Sawk Hell freezes ovah
Napa Valley, Calif.
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.
.
.
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 Pinot Grigio Easy, drinkable; perfect for relaxing on veranda by the chimenea Chardonnay Buttery with oak finish, good after long commute in 5-Series Beemer Sauvignon Blanc Aromatic with pronounced smokiness, nice when in-laws visit you in Carmel Cabernet Complex, with austere tannins, uncork after CEO gives Richards your promotion Shiraz Seductive with bold plum flavors, a big red that goes well with the end of the world
New York City
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.
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 Hhhhonnnnk! Go Already!! Pffffth! Get Outta tha Way, Wouldja?!? Bahhst! HEY! I'm WALKIN' HEAHHH! Whohhhh! [Unprintable] 'Scuse me? Are You Talkin' to Me? Are YOU Talkin' to ME??
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