Ask the Paranoiac
Because if you aren't afraid, you aren't paying attention...
By CSO Contributor
April 01, 2005 — CSO —
Dear Mr. Paranoiac: Lately, my CEO has increased his eye contact with me to about seven minutes a week, which represents about a 3 percent increase compared with eye contact at this time last year. Is he getting ready to fire me?
-Anonymous
Dear Anonymous: Seven minutes a week?!? What's this guy's name, Mr. Surveillance??? He's staring! Are you remembering to keep your head down and mouth shut at meetings? If so, then there's only one other explanation: He bugged your office and thinks that you don't know that he knows what you're saying. Or maybe he thinks you found the bug during your weekly sweep, and now he's staring because he knows that you know that he knows what you've been saying. Anyway, clear out your office.
Help Me Paranoid Guy: After my first day as a CSO, I noticed my black Ford Expedition was parked 19 degrees askew from the line that delineates the left edge of my parking spot. But I'm certain that it was no more than 10 degrees askew when I parked it that morning, because I had stopped to wonder if the signal from my keyless remote dongle was encrypted. Concerned that someone would jury-rig their own dongle to unlock my vehicle, I took note of my parking angle. The odometer hadn't advanced, but we all know an Allen wrench, custom-cut plexiglass, cotton gloves and some Windex is all you need to roll back an odometer. Think somebody took the car and bugged it?
-New CSO
Dear New Guy: Congratulations on your new job; you'll make an excellent CSO. Now, DON'T TOUCH THE CAR! Get a new one. Have "your" car towed to Langley, Va., to a little garage there we like to call the CIA. Tell the guard at the gate that "Dr. Bunsen's Expedition has arrived."
Dear Paranoia Man: Sometimes when I get back from meetings, I'll notice new footprint indentations on the carpet. Do you think someone was rummaging around my desk? Should I maybe get one of those hidden nannycam things?
-Searched in Seattle
Dear Searched: If it were my office, I'd say they've rummaged, since I myself routinely perform search and seizures to find evidence of disloyalty. You wouldn't believe the contraband I confiscate. Camerawise, try the SVC-1225z "StrikeCam." It gives you motion detection, night vision and video storage, all hidden in an ordinary bowling trophy. So all you have to do to complete the illusion is take up bowling.
The challenge of true data protection spans databases, internal and external networks, physical and offsite storage, business partners and more. These resources offer expert perspective from the basics through specific key elements of data protection strategies.
Network security basics
Protection, detection, and reaction—those are the three underlying principles your security program must embody
Computer incident detection, response, forensics
Richard Bejtlich shows how to measure and improve the maturity of your incident response
A few good IT security metrics
Stop counting blocked malware attachments and measure things that can contribute to meaningful change
5 key cloud security trends
Cloud security is evolving rapidly—stay on top of it
IT risk assessment frameworks
How to do end-to-end encryption
How to compare and use enterprise antivirus
Also find sample data protection policies in CSO's tools, templates and policies library
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CSO Corporate Partners
- Patch Tuesday preview, February 2012
Microsoft published its Patch Tuesday Preview for February of 2012 a few minutes ago. IT admins can expect nine bulletins to address 21 security vulnerabilities.
It looks like four bulletins will be rated critical while the rest are designated as important.
Affected Microsoft products are:
- M86 report proves water is wet
- Actor, banker, soldier, spy: Suits and Spooks Anti-Conference aims to redefine security
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