The Wild Pacific Northwest

In an effort to help law enforcement agencies identify and bring to justice those who illegally release damaging worms, viruses and other types of malicious code on the Internet, Microsoft has created an Antivirus Reward Program, initially funded with US$5 million

By Scott Berinato

January 01, 2004 — CSO — In an effort to help law enforcement agencies identify and bring to justice those who illegally release damaging worms, viruses and other types of malicious code on the Internet, Microsoft has created an Antivirus Reward Program, initially funded with US$5 million.-Microsoft.com, Nov. 5, 2003

Re: Well, well, if it ain't Wild Bill Gates

Here I thought ya'd turned into the worst kind of yella-bellied spreadsheet jockey. Nice to see you put on yer tin star and treat infosecurity the way it needs to be treatedfrontier-like, with no law but the law of the fast draw. You can practically put my name on the first check now. I'm a gray hat with two P5 six-shooters and a T1, riding shotgun with a posse of vigilante network admins. Yee haw! If this bounty thing don't give us credibility with them fine-dressin' sophisticates in the boardroom, I don't know what will! Let's ride, boys!

-KrazyKowboy,

a.k.a. JsseJmes124, a.k.a. GhostTownMutt

[a.k.a. Hubert Lenderman from Toledo]

$$4ME: Bill Gates, is it really you?

BillG743: Yes, it is.

$$4ME: Kewl. I know who did that Blaster thing. ;)

BillG743: That's fantastic. Who?

$$4ME: OMG! Really?? OK, but don't get me in trouble. Promise??

BillG743: I promise. This is a matter of national security and important to the world economy.

$$4ME: LOL! Okay, Dylan was tryin' to be a playa at lunch. He tells Olivia, "I can totally hack in and change your math grade." Olivia was all, "Who can't do that, fool?" So Dylan takes it to the next level. Str8 up, he was like, "I can take down the Internet." She was all, "What-eva."

BillG743: What day was that?

$$4ME: The day before Blaster!! Then Blaster hits and he's all, "I told you!" They're dating now.

BillG743: Good information. I will send you the reward.

$$4ME: Don't you need my address and phone number?

BillG743: No, we have all tha-I mean, Yes. Why don't you send that along.

To: billg@microsoft.com
From: steveb@microsoft.com
Re: Bounty/Oops

Bill,

Call off the search. Blaster and Sobig are my fault. Long story short: I got an email that said something about some Paris Hilton video. Anyway, sorry.

-Steve

To: Bill Gates
Re: Coincidence?

Gates,

Isn't it obvious? There's an unmarked building in the Painted Desert with tons of computers in there, judging by the electromagnetic interference that shows up on satellite images. I know of a guy who hacked a municipal site and found that the building is leased to an "R. Smith." Well, it just so happens an "R. Smith" also works at a major antivirus company! Don't you see?? The antivirus vendor (vendors??) built a secret lab to breed and launch viruses!! That way they can sell more software!!

Bring my reward in an unmarked envelope to the Space Needle on Friday at 5:07 p.m. Give the envelope to a clown holding flowers standing by a black Town Car. Use the new color $20 bills, if you think of it.

To: billg@microsoft.com
From: rodney121@frielaxhyes.cz.y.bx
Re: your bounty information 5rkf83zaekl

Dear Mr. billg@microsoft.com:

Did you ever want to win Microsoft's bounty prize for catching hackers? Now you can AT NO COST TO YOU!! It's EASY. I'VE DONE IT AND NOW I'M RICH and megababes are all over me!! All you have to do to claim the bounty money is click on the file below.

bountyinfo.vbs

Read more about malware/cybercrime in CSOonline's Malware/Cybercrime section.

Other stories by Scott Berinato

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