A Little Chin Music

You'll need to learn to cover your bases if you want to become an ace CSO

By Anonymous

October 07, 2002 — CSO — When I was a kid, my parents were eager to attend our big family reunion every year. But for me, it wasn't all fun. While it was a good thing to see what new magic tricks Uncle Chet could do with his false teeth, it also meant mandatory participation at the dreaded All Family Softball Game.

In hindsight I can see that it was good training toward becoming an enlightened CSO. I mean, you can get fancy degrees or attend seminars. But ultimately, security is about understanding people. And you can learn a lot about people at an annual softball game.

It's only fair to 'fess up right from the start. I suck at softball. I can hit the ball a country mile, but I'm too slow to field it, too inaccurate to pitch it and too uncoordinated to outrun it. So you can guess the position to which I was relegated: the catcher.

Not that I didn't suck at that too, but at least when Uncle Ted was playing umpire, he'd help me out by making calls in my favor. And therein lies my first lesson. As a security executive, you'll soon discover that support comes in mysterious ways. Sometimes people will help you, sometimes they'll help your opponents. Just because. In this case, Uncle Ted didn't like much of the family. His interests lie simply in doing anything he could to keep anyone from scoring a run.

And there were other lessons too. I was big for my age, so running over the catcher on the way to home base was not a trivial exercise. One year, my Great Uncle John managed to hit me with a flying tackle (let me say politely that he was physically "great" as well), and the shot sent me to the emergency room. Lesson two: Anyonewhether an overly ambitious coworker or a family membermay run you down like a stray cur in the street if they think they'll win.

Somehow, I reached the ripe old age of 10. By then I thought I had achieved all the wisdom that the game of softball offered: that the game is indeed a violent one. Even when it's played with a dad who means well. At the start of that year's game, my dad assigned me to play first base. A line drive off the very next pitch broke my thumb as I tried desperately to catch the ball. Which brings me to lesson three: Even if the boss loves you, sometimes he will do things that unintentionally hurt you. A good boss will recognize his mistakes and try to remedy the problem (sometimes with proper medical help) so that you can continue to work for him.